August 3, 2013

10 Reasons Why Klortzop Will Never Frebb The Zorpp

Klortzop is always trying to frebb the zorpp!  Right?  It's utterly preposterous!  The idea that the zorpp could be frebbed so easily.  Zoltrog is now tasked with the explanation of why that will never occur within your or any lifetime.  Now, consume!

1.  Uh... duh, because Treggs are frebbing the zorpp constantly?

2.  One number: 34 kekton

3.  No one told the Yyuloshkin Galactic Police Authority there's an unsolved case!

4.  P-Y = DF+R678 ... Mwahahahaha!

5.  What happens in the Bottomless Gort of Tortured Klakzots, stays in the Bottomless Gort of Tortured of Klakzots.

6.  Zorpps don't have the testicles their birthing mates have.

7.  Two rhisdias don't make a gargtrow!

8.  Zorpp?!  They can barely frebb the Thylocks as it is!

9.  Frebbing requires that you have a working quockfottle.

10.  Klortzop, meet gloopthar.

July 31, 2013

Zoltrog Confesses That Zoltrog Did Engage In Earth Sexting With Puny Human Anthony Weiner

Many of the human race have heard the news.  Former Earthling Representative Anthony Weiner was ostracized by your puny human moral compasses --- truly primitive compasses indeed --- after being caught Earth sexting with a female not his significant other.  Earth Weiner was rightfully shamed, but the Earth Weiner got off easy.

In my galaxy, Earth Weiner would have been pummeled again and again with a Kroglovian Hammer of Adultery.  Stroke after stroke after stroke would have been brought upon the Earth Weiner until he was nothing but a flaccid corpse husk.

But Zoltrog is not completely without fault. Hold on, let Zoltrog rephrase that. Zoltrog is completely without fault.  But Zoltrog was the receiver of some Earth sexting from the Human Weiner.

Zoltrog believes in full disclosure.  For example, Zoltrog will destroy Earth, Zoltrog will destroy you and everything you know.  See?  Full disclosure.  With that, Zoltrog presents the following documentation of the exploits of Earth Weiner.

Now, puny humans, let us never speak of it again.

End communication.