Customary Earth Greeting.
I have just returned from commanding my first-shift squadron at the AM/PM and, tiny human male, do my canine/human foot metaphors pain me. It is factual that indeed some of your species are not mentally capable of performing even the simplest of tasks.
Human male Eddie Turnip is one such useless conglomerate of biological functions. I entrust him with duties characteristic of his rank at AM/PM, and even after this male insures the completion of these tasks, Zoltrog finds his assessment to be inaccurate. The earthly mop bucket was not cleansed to specifications. Already Zoltrog can see bacterial entities contaminating said mop bucket, compromising its hygienic status.
On a note secondary to the first, Eddie Turnip indeed carries a unique and humorous name. Is it simply Zoltrog or his appearance not consistent with a root vegetable widely recognized for its white, bulbous taproot? Mwahaha!
Silence!
Zoltrog's extensive wakened state requires immediate hibernation.
End communication.
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