November 28, 2008

Friday Of Blackness

No, Zoltrog is not referring to the day when his fleet of massive Kroglovian ships eclipses your sun and enslaves your planet. This is the day when ridiculously low prices will eclipse your money-carrying device and enslave your sense of necessity!

A standard, puny human may ponder...

AFFIRMATIVE, INSIGNIFICANT SPECK! You can never tire of viewable programming! Do you have access to this programming while engaged in the disposal of your own human waste? You do not? Then by the golden, jewel-encrusted rectum of Tron-grokk, consume, Earthling! In more ways than one, CONSUME!

Such is the natural order of the universe. Consume and Dispose.

  • Consume material wealth. Dispose of finances.
  • Consume biological nutrients. Dispose of fecal waste.
  • Consume human host soul. Dispose of human host carcass.

Whoops. Zoltrog meant not to include that third point. Not that it will be of any surprise to you and your kind when a gargantuan Z-class Kroglovian War ship eclipses your puny sun! Then it will truly be a Black Friday, as well as a Black Saturday through Thursday!

Until then, consume, humans! Grow large with sustenance and belongings! It will only make you slower and thereby insure that you are ensnared in a Kroglovian net when zero hour arrives! Mwahahaha!

End communication.

1 comment:

Mike Todd said...

I'm more of a lurker than a commenter, but I've been reading and enjoying every one of these bastards, and the rest of the internet should be, too. That's all I have to say about that.