February 23, 2009

Zoltrog Attends Earth Oscars

Affirmative, Zoltrog attended the 81st Annual Academy Awards. Puny Human asks...

Because, human that is very puny, Zoltrog is very big and Zoltrog. And you are very human and puny.

It must be spoken that Zoltrog gained much satisfaction from this event. Zoltrog was more amused than a maturing thockloff on the Day of Mottplacitron. Zoltrog knows, Zoltrog knows, that seems a statement of great exaggeration, but Zoltrog assures you, Zoltrog is not this excited even during peak mating milliseconds.

Zoltrog brought photos. Here is Zoltrog in front of human facsimile Oscar Earth Award Statue.

Here is Zoltrog as Human Kate Winslet enters the Carpet of Red. She found my theories on Earth doom to be quite fascinating. She may yet have a post during Zoltrog's reign of terror.

Here is Zoltrog attaining sight of Human Jessica Biel. Zoltrog did not have to sneak because of any security guards chasing Zoltrog. No, Zoltrog was merely giving Human Biel her space as Earth females often desire. Zoltrog could totally mate with Jessica Biel if Zoltrog wanted to.

Here is Zoltrog on stage with those of the Earth film "Slumdog Millionaire." They asked Zoltrog to assist onstage. Zoltrog declined, but they insisted that, as one familiar with pure unadulterated success and their future supreme overlord and conqueror, Zoltrog should assist in the absorption of achievement. And yes, Zoltrog is strangling the life from that small Earth child, as is customary during celebratory events on Kroglovia.

You may not have witnessed Zoltrog's part of the acceptance speech, as the now-doomed symphonic orchestra began playing louder and louder. Here is a transcription...

"Zoltrog has many to thank. This is quite unexpected. First and foremost, Zoltrog must thank Zoltrog. For without Zoltrog, Zoltrog would not be possible. Thanks to my maternal seed-bearer, my paternal seed planter, and womb mate Chog. Thank you to Jesus, who Zoltrog could defeat in hand-to-hand combat swiftly and with little effort. Enough! Kneel before Zoltrog!"

Zoltrog will be making changes to the Academy Awards once doom has come to your planet and the armies of Kroglovia spill out of warships so large they suffocate your skies!


End communication.

1 comment:

Becky said...

yeah, well, I'd like to see Zoltrog try to balance an Oscar on his chin, wearing that dumb helmet.

(ha, check me out, trash talking an alien!)