March 11, 2009

Zoltrog Works Out, Just In Case You Were To Feel An Obligation To Inquire As To Whether Or Not Zoltrog Works Out

Zoltrog will not lie, Zoltrog works out. It is important to Zoltrog that Zoltrog maintains a physical fitness program which meets the ferociously high standards of Zoltrog's level of physical perfection. Zoltrog does not mean to boast. Zoltrog simply knows your Earth dictionary with great familiarity and the lone, suitable word for Zoltrog's anatomical acheivement is the word "perfection."

In fact, after my legions of soldiers have marched across the entire face of your planet, laying waste to all; after your world is reduced to a cinder-like state; after my armies have made a second march around your planet laying waste to those cinders; after all that is complete, Zoltrog will update your Earth dictionary, now called...


It will include only one entry. "Zoltrog - n, vb, adj, adv. plural: impossible, there is only one. ..." Said entry will continue for no less than 5,000 of your primitive Earth pages. On the eve of your ultimate doom, said entry will be read aloud via Earth speakers.

And now, in the present, Zoltrog presents Zoltrog workout action shots.

What do you think, Earth females? That doin' anything for you? Hmm?

If any Earth females are interested in acquiring two passes to the firearms display, an event where Zoltrog's massive muscular upper limbs will be the primary focus, you need only contact Zoltrog and Zoltrog will provide you with said passes.

Of course, you will be charged a small fee. But perhaps Zoltrog will show mercy (as well as remarkably muscular gun muscle firearm metaphors) in your planet's final hours.

End communication.

1 comment:

Becky said...

Zoltrog's bringing sexy back. Also, it seems like your neck is longer in the first shot. Of course, it may just be the bulge profile that's throwing off perspective.