November 30, 2009

Zoltrog Gives Humans A Glimpse Into Their Horrific Future... And Past!

Humans wonder what it will be like when Zoltrog is finally in control. Well, Zoltrog will tell you!

Using Earth Photoshop, Zoltrog will give the readers of this journalary device a glimpse into their horrific future, previously only thought possible in Earth nightmares, now called Zolt-mares!

Behold, your civilization crumbling around you! All you held dear, all you loved, gone! And now, only Zoltrog, mwahahahaha!

History will be rewritten to show it was Zoltrog who heroically freed slaves and that it was Zoltrog who was called "Honest Zoltrog," all before making slaves of humanity through lies and deceit!

Zoltrog will be known as the father of your country! Zoltrog will have worn wooden teeth and had an affinity for cherry trees! Meanwhile, in the present, your crops will be devastated as my alien machines lay waste to your countryside! Their metal teeth will shred and tear not only your food supply, but also your faith in humanity and the very fabric of your being!

And then Zoltrog will conquer what Earth loves most: Earth television! Zoltrog will be the sixth roommate on Friends! It is Zoltrog who will be an aspiring actor, macho and Italian! Zoltrog will have his way with Earth woman, and said activity will be of a humorous nature to you all! You will laugh heartily, or you will die equally heartily!

Yes, Earthlings, utilize what time you have left to enjoy your history as you know it, while it is still there! Soon, Zoltrog will be conqueror and ultimate ruler of your past, present, and future! Mwahahaha!

End communication.

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