Earth April Fools' Day

Zoltrog has always enjoyed April Fools day here on Earth.  It give Zoltrog the opportunity to really joke around with the Earthlings, perhaps lighten the mood prior to their inevitable dooming someday.

• Today, while getting morning coffee -- Zoltrog can't operate without his morning metabolism accelerant -- Zoltrog purchase a second containment vessel of coffee and hurled the scalding liquid into the face of the coffee shop barista!  "April Fools, mwahahahaha!"
• Zoltrog saw a tiny human child carrying an ice cream cone and a balloon.  It was the tiny human child's birthday.  Zoltrog confiscated and consumed the ice cream cone, popped the balloon, and reminded the child that he was the product not of the mother and father with him, but rather of parents unknown to him, and that his parents had merely adopted him!  "April Fools, mwahahahaha!"
• In the grocery store, Zoltrog watched as the stock boy painstakingly stacked jars of spaghetti sauce, many feet tall.  Zoltrog smashed this tower of Earth spaghetti covering all over the grocery store floor.  It was a terrific joke, if Zoltrog does say so Zoltrog's self.  "April Fools, mwahahahaha!"
• Zoltrog visited a local women's clothing establishment. And with Zoltrog's well known powers of fertility, Zoltrog flew about the store impregnating every Earth female in sight, simply by releasing a strong baby-making pheromone! "April Fools, mwahahahaha!"
• Zoltrog collected the pets from all occupants of his neighborhood, then created glorious feast with the pet owners as my guests.  "April Fools!  You're eating Fluffy, mwahahahaha!"

See, Earthlings and Puny Humans, Zoltrog can be lighthearted and full of Earth jolly!  Mwahahaha!

End communication.

Bwahahahaha, April fools!  Zoltrog has actually just sent a virus to you.  This virus is infecting your computer as well as your biological organs!  Bwahahahaha!

End communication.